Remembering Sunday
by hoLLywOOdgrrl
Summary: In his eyes, everything was perfect. With their friendship and just her in general. But he had no idea that she harbored so many insecurities and doubts. Nilly oneshot. Based on a song by All Time Low.


**_A/N: Cayce introduced me to this song,_ Remembering Sunday by All Time Low_. It's very moving. Take a listen if you haven't heard it. After losing a bet to her, I am forced (kinda) to turn it into a Nilly oneshot._**

**_I hope you all like it!_**

_**So Larry, one third of my Girl's in T-Shirts luvahs, this one's for you!**_

_**Oh and Nick and Lilly are in their twenties and Nick is not famous.**_

* * *

The sun shone through the bedroom window and danced on the curly haired boy's face, causing him to stir. Nick turned over, a groan escaping his lips as he did so. The sun felt like a knife, cutting deep into his head. He needed to close those damn blinds.

Nick lifted himself from the bed and staggered over to the window. His head began to pound as the sun now pierced his deep hazel eyes. He reached up and twisted the cord to the blinds. Darkness now filled the room, but his head continued to throb. God it hurt so bad. This could only mean one thing.

He was sober again. The one thing Nick didn't want to be right now.

He stumbled out of the room, clad only in his boxers, and made his way towards the kitchen. The tile felt so cold against his feet. Icy, just like his heart had become.

He finally reached the freezer and pulled it open. He pulled out the bottle of Skyy vodka. He twisted the cap off and brought the bottle to his lips. He downed the rest of the contents in a matter of seconds. He could feel the alcohol running down his throat and into his stomach. It coursed through his veins. He needed to forget, and drinking was the only surefire way he knew how.

Nick needed more.

He went to his pantry and extracted a half empty bottle of Hennessey. He pulled the cap off and took a swig. He could still remember. He took another one, but the memory was still fresh. Tears began to slide down as his cheeks as he took drink after drink of the alcohol, but that day was all he could think about. It wouldn't leave him alone.

A cry escaped his throat as Nick threw the bottle against the wall. It made a sickening crash as shards of glass and the remaining liquor in the bottle sprayed onto the ground. Nick fell to his knees, ignoring the shards of glass that penetrated the skin. He began to sob as the haunting memories swirled around in his head.

There was no denying it. No matter what he did or how much liquor he consumed, he would always remember Sunday.

--

_Sunday_

"How do you like them?" Lilly chewed the mouthful of eggs and swallowed before answering.

"Not bad…for a guy." She laughed at the exaggerated look of hurt on Nick's face. "I'm kidding! They're delicious."

"Thank you very much." The pleased look on Nick's face was too cute. Lilly examined her best friend's face. He was adorable in a way that no other boy could compare. His cute nose, the way his eyes could pierce through her as if he was looking into her soul, the way a single curl would cover one of said eyes. He made her feel like no other person could. He made her smile when she was sad, laugh constantly, and made her feel happy just being her. Yes, as much as she tried to deny it, it was true. Lilly Truscott was in love with him.

But the sad truth was, Nick Jonas was just too perfect for her. And that hurt worse than anything.

Lilly plastered a smile onto her face to cover up the feelings and thoughts in her mind. "So what are we going to do today Nick J?"

"I already made you eggs. It's your turn to decide," he stated. Lilly rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Well, It's too cloudy and cool to go to the beach. So why don't I just kick your ass in Halo 3?"

Nick had to smirk at his feisty friend. "As if you could!"

"It wouldn't be the first time," Lilly reminded him. "Come on!" She grabbed Nick's hand and pulled him towards the stairs. Nick willingly let her drag him up the stairs. Mid-flight, Lilly looked over her shoulder and gave him a devilish grin.

"Do you think you can handle this?" Nick's eyes widened. Did she really just say that?!

"Handle what?"

"Handle losing again silly!"

Nick slowly exhaled. Oh. She really needed to stop saying things like that. She had no idea what it did to him.

They burst through the doorway and Lilly plopped down on the floor in front of the television, her back resting against the side of his bed. Nick turned on the Xbox and handed Lilly a controller.

"Let's do this," he said as the game flashed onto the screen.

After countless minutes of playing, Nick was almost ready to throw in the towel. Lilly was just too good at killing people. In the game, that is. Nick began to lose interest towards the end of yet another round, so he turned toward the girl beside him. If only she could see how beautiful she really was.

Her golden blonde hair was splayed over her shoulders, her blue shining eyes focused on the game. She was biting down on her bottom lip, something she always subconsciously did in concentration. It was adorable. Lilly always knew how to light up a room and make everyone feel welcome. She never was one to judge. She just had a certain energy and glow about her.

There was no denying it. Nick Jonas was in love with his best friend.

_I don't mean to be a bother  
But have you seen this girl?_

"Ha! Yes! I won! In your face Jonas!" Lilly cried out in victory. "It's like you weren't even trying."

She turned to face Nick and caught him staring at her. She looked at him curiously. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Nick shrugged. "I don't know. You just look so cute when you're playing this game."

Lilly felt her cheeks coloring and she tore her gaze from his. She might lose control if he didn't stop. And that's one thing she vowed never to do around him.

Suddenly she felt his hand underneath her chin, turning her face towards him again. "Don't be embarrassed."

_Who could deny these butterflies?_

Nick couldn't believe he was actually doing this. Was it worth possibly losing his best friend? He didn't wait for an answer. He brought his face closer to hers and placed a delicate kiss on her lips.

That was all Lilly really wanted. Needed. She didn't stop him when leaned in for more.

There was just something about kissing Lilly that felt so right. He would've said that he felt fireworks if it weren't so cliché. Besides, this feeling was way stronger than that.

Love.

Nick brushed his hand from under her chin to her hair. He let his fingers become entangled in it as the kiss became deeper. He pulled her a little closer and Lilly rested her hand on his quad. They stood up together, never breaking the kiss, and laid down on his bed, Nick gently placing himself on top of her. Nick glided his tongue along her bottom lip, begging for entrance. Lilly granted entrance and their tongues intertwined. She moaned softly into the kiss as Nick ran a hand down her body. He thought it was out of pleasure, but it was the exact opposite.

Lilly's emotions were going haywire. She couldn't grasp the concept of what was actually happening. Why was he doing this? Why was she letting him? He couldn't possibly…No. He was too perfect and she was just…not. This was so wrong. She did not want to be in love with Nick Jonas.

Lilly broke the kiss and gently pushed Nick away from her. He stared at her questioningly. Then he noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Lilly, what's wrong?" he asked, concern evident in his voice. Lilly just shook her head and slid out from underneath him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, the tears rolling down her soft cheeks. "I just can't…" She turned towards the door and rushed out. Nick hopped off the bed and ran after her. He caught her by the wrist before she made it to the front door.

_And even though she doesn't believe in love  
He's determined to call her bluff  
_

"Lilly, wait! I'm sorry I rushed things a bit, but you have to know something," he told her. Lilly didn't dare face him.

"Nick please just let me go," she pleaded.

"Not until you hear what I have to say. I've been hiding my feelings for too long," he stated. Lilly didn't like where this was going. The tears came faster now.

"Lilly, I'm in lo-"

"Stop!" she shouted, whipping around to face a startled Nick. The look on her face tore him to shreds. "No you aren't." With that, she pulled her wrist from his grasp and ran out of the house, leaving a confused and heartbroken Nick behind.

--

Lilly stormed around her bedroom in a huff. She had to get out of this place. She had to get anywhere that wasn't here. She had screwed everything up. Nick had impossibly fallen in love with her.

Everything she had always wanted, yet at the same time was always trying to prevent.

She frantically threw some clothes into a bag. Her heart burned at the thought of abandoning all of the people she loved, but she had to do it. She wouldn't hold Nick back from the great things he could accomplish.

Lilly scribbled a quick note for her neighbors, explaining that she was moving away and for them to notify her parents. She took one last look around her small apartment. Her eyes rested upon a picture that was resting on the side table.

It was of her and Nick at the beach two summers ago. Their arms were draped over one another. Lilly was making a funny face and Nick's gaze was on her. He was laughing.

She felt tears prick her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. Against her better judgment, she grabbed the picture and stuffed it into her bag. Thunder boomed outside and Lilly knew it was time for her to go. She wanted somewhere before it began to pour.

She exited her apartment and placed the note on her neighbor's doorstep before rushing out into the darkness and away from that place, from Nick, forever.

_Forgive me, I'm trying to find  
My calling, I'm calling at night_

It didn't take long for Nick to decide to go over to Lilly's apartment. He needed to see her, to get an explanation out of her. He didn't know what reaction he'd get out of her upon telling her that he loved her, but the one she gave certainly wasn't it.

He pulled into the complex and got of the car. He took the stairs two at a time. When he got to her door he knocked his fist upon it.

"Lilly?" Silence. He called out a little louder. "Lilly! Are you home?" Her car was there so she should be home. He knocked harder. "Lilly please! I need to talk to you!" His voice was cracking.

The light went on in the apartment next door and an elderly woman came out. "Are you looking for Lillian, dear?"

Nick nodded. The woman frowned slightly. "Oh I'm sorry. Lillian moved away." Nick blanched.

"What?!"

The woman nodded sadly. "Yes I'm afraid it's true. She left me a note on my doorstep. I just don't understand why she didn't take her car. Maybe she'll come back for it later."

Nick wasn't really listening to her rambling. His heart was pounding and he felt as if he was going to fall over. How could she have moved away? She had only left his house an hour ago! The thunder boomed overhead, snapping him out of his thoughts. He turned back towards the woman.

"Do you know where she went?"

"No, dear," the woman shook her head. "I don't much of anything about why she moved. It's like she just up and ran away!"

With that last phrase, everything clicked in Nick's brain. Lilly _did_ run away. She always ran away from her troubles. He turned back towards the stairs and ran down them, ignoring the cries of the old woman.

"You can't go out in the rain! You'll catch cold!"

Like Nick cared. He needed to find Lilly. She couldn't have gone too far.

_Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds  
Are following me in my desperate endeavor  
To find my whoever, whoever she may be_

Lilly was walking around downtown, not caring that she was drenched from the pouring rain. She didn't care much about anything right now. She shivered in her clothes, but she welcomed the cold. It comforted her somehow.

Despite everything that was going on around her, her thoughts always went back to Nick. He was the reason she was like this anyway.

No, that wasn't true. It was that damn four letter word. An emotion that ultimately ruined her.

Love.

She couldn't take it anymore. The tears mixed with the rain that soaked her face. She ran down the nearest alley until she collapsed into a puddle. She sobbed as that afternoon kept replaying in her mind. Nick was in love with her. It just couldn't be true, it shouldn't be true. She was nothing. He deserved so much better…

Lilly lifted her head and noticed that the picture of the two that she had stuffed into her bag had fallen loose. She stared at the picture through the rain spotted glass. She didn't know why she brought it. It just made her feel even worse.

Nick was probably looking for her despite the rain. He was probably desperate and worried. She knew she was hurting him. They were best friends and that should be it. Nothing more.

Lilly hated herself ruining him. And all in one day! First she made him fall in love with someone far less than what he truly deserved, and now she was making him run through the rain to find her. He was probably worrying to death.

Death.

Lilly was truly disgusted with herself. She hated every fiber of her being.

She picked the picture frame up into her hands and kissed it. As soon as the smooth glass left her lips, she threw it as hard as she could against the ground. The frame shattered and bits of glass littered the street.

Lilly spotted the largest piece. The piece with the sharpest point. She reached forward and took the piece in her hand and pushed back the sleeve of her coat.

--

Nick raced down the streets calling out Lilly's name. He was downtown now and he still had no idea where she was. The rain pelted against his body, matting his hair to his face.

"Lilly!" he called out once more, his voice growing hoarse. His bottom lip quivered as tears filled his eyes. He was never going to find her.

Just then, he heard a voice. _Her _voice. But it didn't sound concrete. It was as if he was hearing her voice in the wind, all around him. And he didn't like the things she was saying.

_"I'm not coming back"_

"Where are you Lilly?!" he screamed.

_"I've done something so terrible"_

"No!" he shouted, his chest heaving. The voice was fading away. He ran after it, following it. He needed to hear her voice.

_"I'm terrified to speak"_

Nick chased down the voice. He finally came upon an alley, just as he heard the last voice say,

"_Washing you out of my hair  
And out of my mind"_

That's when Nick saw her. She was lying on her side at the end of the alley.

"Lilly!" he screamed. He ran as fast as his legs would carry him until he finally dropped to his knees beside the girl. He immediately scooped her up into his arms. All of the color was gone from her face.

"Nick…" she whispered ever so softly, as the life was draining out of her. That's when he noticed her bloody forearm.

"What have you done Lilly?!" he shrieked. The tears were streaming down his face.

"I'm sorry…" Her body went limp in his arms.

"Lilly? No, no, no, no, Lilly! Please wake up! Lilly!" he screamed through his sobs. "Don't do this to me!"

He held his best friend to his chest as his entire body shook. He picked up the bloody arm in his hands, prepared to roll her sleeve down to hide it's ugliness when he noticed the cuts. They weren't just slices in her arm. She had cut a message into her arm.

_I'm home now._

Nick's tears came even harder than before, if possible. How could he have let this happen to her? He gently leaned over and kissed her lifeless cheek and then brought her arm to his lips. He placed a delicate kiss on her cuts.

As he held her body close to his chest, he heard her abstract once again.

_"Keeping an eye on the world  
From so many thousands of feet off the ground  
I'm over you now  
I'm at home in the clouds  
And towering over your head"_

And that was the last time he ever heard her voice again.

* * *

_**Wow that was way more morbid than expected. I don't know what's up with me and killing people in stories lately. I'm so sorry if that put a damper on your day!**_

_**Homework: After you leave an awesome review (please?), listen to **_**Remembering Sunday by All Time Low**_**. It makes me cry everytime I hear it.**_

_**I'm leaving for vacation this Saturday morning, so for those of you who read **_**It All Started With A Sweatshirt**_**, I will update that shortly after I come home. I just don't have time to update between now and Saturday.**_

_**Know what makes me happy? Getting super awesome reviews from you guys! So ahead. Make my day.**_

_**Love ya!**_

_**Deni **_


End file.
